Episode 8 Scores

Ahh, week 8, aka Hometowns and the return of NATE aka Jimmy "B-Rabbit" Smith, Jr. aka Des's Brother who totes blew up her spot with Bachelor Sean (recap here).

Here's what we learned in hometowns:

1. Des wants to be in Drew's family, which just proves even more that their chemistry is weird and disturbing... you'd be his sister, Des.

2. Zak does acid before bed, or does acid on the regs and claims he sleeps.  He also has that family that awkwardly sings together.

3. Chris likes to share deep thoughts with his dad while get his nose excavated.

4. Brooks still can't drop the L-Bomb.  And he finds getting his date wet in some gross public and urban lake totally funny.  It's not.

Honestly, I don't even know what to write here now that I've fully admitted I can't do recaps this season... I'm an excuse factory with out anyone who cares... butdidyouevercare?  I didn't update last week because it was the Men Tell All.  This was surprising and strange because they usually wait till right before the last episode.  I guess whatever Drew has to say makes the finale "so explosive" they had to put it in two parts ::pleasecomeoutpleasecomeoutpleasecomeout::

I love how at the end of the Men Tell All, CBH was like "the finale so dramatic and so explosive... now I know I've said that before... but this truly is the most dramatic and most explosive finale in the history of the show"  At least he owned up to it?  And does this mean Drew totally comes out??

Alright, let's just get on with points.  The full spreadsheet is HERE and just so you all know it's safe to say that Cindy is running full speed ahead with first place this season, so congrats to her.  She has all 3 guys left and on her team and they will earn position points.  I haven't figured out mathematically if anyone can beat her (I mean I can't even post weekly so ya know), but there are few other teams with 2 of the 3 on them, so I'd imagine with Elimination points it could be possible, especially if Chris gets to the final two and proposes in prose of it Drew admits he's in love with a dude producer.

Anyway, here's the top 5:
1. Cindy
2. Jes S.
3. Langdon
4. Caitlin
5. Lisa J.

Zak was eliminated and cried in the car.  I love how he threw the ring out the window.  I am sure he had to because clearly Neil Lane was all like 'hell to the no, bitch! I am the only one providing rings around here.'

Alright, well I'm off to keep unpacking from my move that happened LAST week.  You all should send me your elimination points for Monday, and get ready for the most explosive finale in the history of the world!

-Commish.

Episode 6&7 Scores

What Drew is thinking when he kisses Des...

Roses are Red

Violets are Blue
Commish sucks at updating this season.

Here we are with our weekly update of excuses as to why commish and co-commish (mostly just commish) are slacking at life when it comes to league.  I mean, this is the Bachelorette Fantasy League!!! Let's read that again... It's The Bachelorette.  Fantasy. League.  Insert whatamidoingwithmy29yearoldlife right here.

Wait guys I have another poem.  This one is a haiku.

Michael defends Des
Commish does not write re caps
Drew is gay gay gay

Anywayyyyy, Let's not pull a Chris here, but let's pull a Chris.  JKKzz no more poems today I promise.  Well I can only promise no more poems outta me. Those poems and written word recitals are realllllly racking up the points with Chris.  I immediately regret my decision to pick Dan over Chris.

Let's get on with it... since ya know it's been two weeks since any updates.




Scores for week 6 and 7 are HERE.  And our top 5 as it stands is below:

1. Cindy
2. Kat
3. Caitlin
4. Langdon
5. Jes S.

Cindy is in first by A LONG SHOT because she had the intution to pick the final 4 to be on her team.  She might just runaway with the season at this point, since finishing position points are coming up soon!  Kat and Caitlin, however are poised to catch her pending elimination picks and final position points.  Currently, Langdon and Jes are tied for 5th, but Langdon has more earned elimination points.

In a more serious note, I have to apologize, but I am not sure how many more recaps I'll get to this season... I am moving this week, and away again the next two weeks, and sadly, the Bachelorette Fantasy League is not the highest priority in a summer where I am busy AND away every.single.weekend.  Co-commish has a new job and is currently on a tropical vacay, so between the two of us, chances are slim.  I'll do my best, but if you're down to guest re-cap, let me know!

AND DON'T FORGET TO SEND ME YOUR ELIMINATION PICKS FOR TONIGHT!!!

Episode 5 Scores and Recap

Ready for your weekly CBH instragram screenshot? 

The ONLY thing more awkward???  Nice try CBH, every Monday night is super awkward, because 25 dudes on the Bachelorette is always awkward.

What's even more awkward is my lame excuse for not having posted scores and recaps again last week.  Summer is a cray cray, especially when everyone and their mom is having a baby, giving birth, getting married, and having multiple parties to celebrate said events, that involve travel, and then on top of it I am moving in 2 weeks.  Sorrytoallmyfriendswhoaregettingmarriedandhavingbabehfriends.

Anywayyyyy, the last 2 weeks recap will be up tonight.  And last week (episode 5) scores are HERE!! 

Kat is still holding tight on 1st place, but Hayley and Katie/Ashley are neck and neck right behind her.  Rounding out the top 5 are Caitlin in 4th Place and Cindy in 5th.

There wasn't a lot of lip action this week, but there was a lot 'right reasons' dropping in relation to James.  Michael and Ben got double points for arguing in the floating hot tub, but since they weren't exactly alone with Des, nor did any of them recite her poetry a la Chris, or even try to make out with her, they left their owners wish for more in the points department.

If you chose Ben or Mikey to not get a rose, you got your points, but if you chose Bryden no points were earned since he eliminated himself... something to keep in mind when choosing your picks, they have to not receive a rose on a date or in the rose ceremony - any other type of elimination doesn't count to earn your elimination points. 

Speaking of... Send in your elimination picks prior to 8pm tonight!

Now, onto the recap (whichwillbepostedtonight).

Episode 4 Scores and Recap

True Bromance

Stalking Bachelorette Producers on Instagram for classic photos just like these has just become a new favorite past time…

I would just like to point out that it’s Wednesday, I am posting Episode 4 scores, Episode 2 AND 3 recaps are up, and the Episode 4 recap will be up before Episode 5… Looks like I am commissioning like a BOSS this week!

JK... Co-commish did last week’s recap and helped with scoring.

Anywayyyy, ready for the updated scores? HERE they are! New top 5 is as follows:

1. Kat
2. Laura
3. Paige
4. Caitlin
5. Hayley

Laura and Paige are completely tied because they have the same team, the same earned elimination points, and have submitted elimination picks the same amount of times. Submitting elimination picks is great for the entire league because, as you’ll see, it can boost your score to the highest heights, where you'll find Des sitting on top of the clouds in her fairytale of finding a husband on TV.

I will post about elimination picks later this week as a reminder to send them to me. I will also list which Bachelors are left.

This week we saw Brad go home on a date that was just so fun, and like so down to earth, and so natural, but then got really awkward. I mean all I could think was how does this guy have a restraining order against him. From a woman. Who is his baby momma? Seems like he doesn’t play for that team if you catch my drift. Also, why did he name his kid Maddox? Is he obsessed with the Jolie-Pitt clan? Does he think he and Des will adopt 19 kids and give birth to one in Nigeria? These are the real questions Des should be asking... I digress.

Brad was boring, and awkward. Zack didn't have a good storyline. If you picked them, you picked right, and got your points.

Now! On to the recap!

Episode 3 Scores and Recap

 

I meaaaan the jokes just write themselves... notheydon't. I actually have to physically write them down.

Here we are, 3 episodes and 12 guys down, yet no write ups after week one. What a deadbeat commish you have this season. Must've learned it from Brian, or Brian's Ex's Ex. Whatevs. Anyway, I swear to you that the recaps are coming. Co-commish will be picking up my slack this week, and who knows when I'll pick up my own slack for last week.

Anyway, the really important thing is scoring, which I do have! Episode 3 scores are posted HERE. We've got Laura holding strong in First Place, followed by Kat, Paige, Julia, and Lisa S.

Unfortunately for ya girl Lisa, she lost 3/5 of her team on tonight's episode. Brandon really pulled through with all those tears and L Bombs and single addict mother, single addict mother, single addict mother, single addict mother issues. But like a 13 year old boy who just discovered Curve for Men he came on just a little too strong and Des gave him the boot.

And Dan got kicked off because he's a 30 year old Beverage Manager from Vegas boring.

For those of you who wagered points on Brian being eliminated you unfortunately did not earn your points because his shorty showed up and went bananas on him in front of CBH and Des said "See ya!" You only earn points if players are eliminated during the rose ceremony. Ahhh, the sweet sting of Bachelorette Fantasy League rules...

Anyway, week 2 recap coming soon... Co-commish has finished week 3 and was waiting for my ass to post it... it's after the jump!

Epsiode 3 Elimination Picks

Not a recap..

             

Oh hello there... No this isn't the recap, it's a list of lame excuses as to why I haven't posted the recap:

1. Friday was my birthday so the weekend was busy. 

2. I am currently posting this from my phone while sitting around waiting to find out if I've been picked to serve at Jury Duty.

3. Co-commish just started a new job and has been super busy as well. 

I will get the recap up ASAP after Jury Duty, but in the meantime I wanted to remind you about elimination picks!

100 points. 

Wager on any and as many guys as you want. 

Wrong guesses don't count against you. 

Picks due by 7:59pm EST. 

Till the recap...

-Commish

Episode 2 Scores and Recap

Ahhhh, the sweet busy-ness of summer has descended upon me.  I must apologize for the delay this week, but I think this might be the MO for the summer... Anyway, we've got the updated score sheet posted HERE.  Congrats to the Week 2 Top Five:

1. Laura
2. Paige
3. Kat
4. Katie&Ashley
5. Julia

It's only week 2, and there have only been 2 one on one dates which really bump up the points.

Those of you who chose Nick M., Robert, or Will to go home you earned whatever elimination points you placed on them.  Unfortunately, for those of you who picked Robert to be on your team he actually earned 0 points... no date, nothing at the cocktail party, nada.  Sorry gals and guys.

Don't forget about Elimination Points!! They can really help your score week to week, especially as guys are eliminated.

Now on to the Recap...

Team Emma/Steven

Total Cumulative Points: 0
Earned Elimination Points: 0
Current Rank: -

Ben

Drew

Juan Pablo

Michael G.

Zack K.

Team Paige

Total Cumulative Points: 0
Earned Elimination Points: 0
Current Rank: -

Ben

Brandon

Brooks

Bryden

Drew

Team Lisa J.

Total Cumulative Points: 0
Earned Elimination Points: 0
Current Rank: -

Brandon

Brooks 

Chris

Robert 

Zak W.

Team Cindy

Total Cumulative Points: 0
Earned Elimination Points: 0
Current Rank: -

Brooks

Chris

Drew

Kasey

Zak W.

Team William

Total Cumulative Points: 0
Earned Elimination Points: 0
Current Rank: -

Brian

Chris

Dan

James

Zack K.

Team Susan

Total Cumulative Points: 0
Earned Elimination Points: 0
Current Rank: -

Ben

Brandon

Brooks

Drew

Zack K.

Team Sarah

Total Cumulative Points: 0
Earned Elimination Points: 0
Current Rank: -

Brandon

Bryden

James

Juan Pablo

Robert

Team Michelle

Total Cumulative Points: 0
Earned Elimination Points: 0
Current Rank: -

Ben

Brandon

Chris

Michael G.

Mikey T.

Team Lisa S.

Total Cumulative Points: 0
Earned Elimination Points: 0
Current Rank: -

Brandon

Brian 

Brooks

Dan

Michael G.

Team Kantedi (Leilah&Jess K.)

Total Cumulative Points: 0
Earned Elimination Points: 0
Current Rank: -

Ben

Brandon

Bryden

Mikey T.

Robert

Team Laura

Total Cumulative Points: 0
Earned Elimination Points: 0
Current Rank: -

Ben

Brandon

Brooks

Bryden

Drew

Team Langdon

Total Cumulative Points: 0
Earned Elimination Points: 0
Current Rank: -

Ben

Drew

Juan Pablo

Michael G.

Zak W.

Team Katie/Ashley

Total Cumulative Points: 0
Earned Elimination Points: 0
Current Rank: -

Ben 

Brooks

Bryden

Drew

Juan Pablo

Team Kat

Total Cumulative Points: 0
Earned Elimination Points: 0
Current Rank: -

Ben

Brooks

Drew

Juan Pablo

Kasey

Team Julia

Total Cumulative Points: 0
Earned Elimination Points: 0
Current Rank: -

Brandon

Brooks

Bryden

Drew

Zack K.

Team Jess M.

Total Cumulative Points: 0
Earned Elimination Points: 0
Current Rank: -

Brooks

Drew

Juan Pablo

Kasey

Michael G.

Team Jes S.

Total Cumulative Points: 0
Earned Elimination Points: 0
Current Rank: -

Ben

Brooks

Drew

Michael G.

Zak W.

Team Hayley

Total Cumulative Points: 0
Earned Elimination Points: 0
Current Rank: -

Ben

Brandon

Brooks

Chris

Michael G.

Team Gretchen

Total Cumulative Points: 0
Earned Elimination Points: 0
Current Rank: -

Brandon

Brooks

Bryden

Michael G.

Robert

Team Caitlin

Total Cumulative Points: 0
Earned Elimination Points: 0
Current Rank: -

Brooks

Drew

James

Juan Pablo

Michael G.

Team Aimee

Total Cumulative Points: 0
Earned Elimination Points: 0
Current Rank: -

Brandon

Brooks

Bryden

Dan 

Drew

Episode 1 Recap

Ahhh here we are again meeting the newest Bachelorette through resident Bachelor/ette Bestie Chris B. Harrison. 

Resident Bacheloretee Princess

Let's start with an open letter to the producers...

Dear Bachelor/ette Producers,

This house looks oddly familiar to Des's ex-bf, Sean's, house... I mean, obviously, you just turned the gym into an art studio. I get that you dropped all your budget on a Bentley, but, like, living in your ex's ex-house is stalkerish, creepy, and totes depressing. Whatevs... I'll bite, and watch.

Of course the first thing Des does is talk about being poor. Her childhood was, like, so humbling you guys... Humbling. Teepee. Apartment. Teepee. Poor poor poor. Blah blah blah.

"My brother's room was the living room where he first learned the art of self tattoo." - Des

It's all good though, because if you sign up for a TV dating show work hard enough you, too, can have a house in Malibu and a Bentley someday.

Ugh... Tears in the first 5 mins. If Des cries every time she talks about her parents TRUE LOVE or how hard, but rewarding her journey with Sean was, I'm going to resign as commish. Jk. I'll probs just keep making fun of her.

Ok, back to the house... "Like OH EM GEE, we are above the cloudzzz! and I am totes Cinderella..." but like the animated one, not the Drew Barrymore one. Love how, CBH is all like "umm duhsies. You're in the 'Bu. Also, NBD, but, uhhh, we need you to dump that shitbox car you drove up in, because it's a bad look for me."

Custom Tiffany's Blue

Who knew Bentley was buying stock in the Bachelorette. Sidenote: I may or may not actually try to sign up for the Bachelor/ette, because that Bentley could pay off my student loans.

Clearly all their budget went to the Bentley because that bathing suit top totes looks like one I have from from Target (street name: Tarjay)... And Des's side interview shirts are the same shirt from Old Navy in different colors (and yes, I own the blue one, too.)

You gave me a Bentley, but dress me in Old Navy!?!

JK, I'm sooooo humbled by these prices.

Watching Des skate around Venice Beach while trying on ugly pink cowboy hats made me yearn for Sean's naked abs, and she chased those seagulls all I could think of was the crazy pigeon lady from Home Alone 2.

Des, circa 2033

Poor Des doesn't have a bestie like Arie to come talk to her... thankfully CBH is up on his gossiping skillz, and they can, like talk about how much Des's life is going to change for, like, ever. Unlike the time she said the same thing getting out of the limo on Sean's season....

Meeting the Men

Emily Maynard would totes cut a bitch over Des's pageant dress. Now on to what we're all really here for... Judging the Men

Bryden - Military man from Montana. I'm loyal, protective, and my bestie is a dog is that I dress in a pink bow.

OMG, like, sooo excited it's Des

Will - "a lot of black guys don't do bikram yoga" ... Also, clearly not up on his Bachelor trivia when screaming I LOVE THIS GIRL!  AshLee, was the screamer, and look what that got her...

Going home in Ep. 2

Drew - Divorced parents, family problems... blah blah blah... Way to stare her body the f down. Seems forced. Maybe he'll fall for a bachelor?  Or he's got bodies in his basement freezer?  Def one or the other.

I wish I could wear you.

Nick R - Custom Clothier, professional magician, aka dork master flex.

Somewhere Kalon has a boner.

Zak W. - I'm rich and do ridiculous things and live on a giant ranch in the middle of nowhere texas and my house is totes outdated aka I will cut you in pieces and keep you in my basement freezer forevs. Love you, mean it! what's with missing letters (coughcoughJefwithoneFcoughcough)

My what a fugly house you have, Richie Rich.

Robert - The coolest thing since spinning signs [sliced bread]. This is the bachelorette not shark tank, brah. But, shut up... I see you with your one eyed pup!

Hometown Material

Mike R. - My family is english and my mom is super blond and I 'lost the accent' ... please ... another adoption story for sure. McLoser.

Brandon - adrenaline junkie... wakeboarding is like, so, intense man. The addicted mother story and the motorcycle... Something has led me here and it might be being the next bachelor.

Brooks -  Smeh, nice hair, awkward, quiet... def going to make it pretty far since no time was spent to make him seem not normal.

Brad - Spent hours trying to figure out how to rig a wishbone so Des would win.

Michael G. - Brad totes stole your move... Probs should have coordinated.  Also, how does a federal prosecutor feel about guys in prison watching him on TV?

Kasey - #I #internet #stalked #you #NBD #serialkillerproblems

#botoxformen

Also, K-Dawg, I see those sneakers and I know they match your tie. #wtf

Mikey T - Bringing the brother into it on day one. I bet Jimmy "B-Rabbit" Smith, Jr. (government name: Nate) is pumped about you.

Larry - Poor guy, too old, and too normal... I mean you did make her ripped her dress, hahaha.

Zack K. - What is with dudes not knowing how to pull off sneakers and suit...  At least you have a c and k in your damn name and aren't on the skateboard.

Diogo - this is such a stereotype... can't totally speak english, and obviously defaults to a knight in shining armor line.

Chris - Clever... Des loves ridiculously cheesy jokes/pranks a la Sean.

Juan Pablo - Wait, how do you say your name?

Brian - Totally normal. Borrrring.

Micah - is obviously colorblind.

Nick - poet guy. Don't be poet guy, brah.

Dan - Also, normal. And Borrrring.

Ben - Has. a. kid. Bringing him AND grandma into it already.

Obviously, the next Bachelor.

Cocktail Party

"Get ready for the night of you life... and for me to say that every week" - CBH

"They're not tricks Michael. They're illusions. Tricks are something whores do for money and cocaine." - Nick R. GOB aka George Oscar Bluth

So we see Brandon give away his Mom's sobriety coin, so Des can awkwardly give it back to her at hometowns.  And Ben, regurgitates Des's life story to her - grew up camping and has Parents married for 35 years - plus you brought your really adorable and well trained son. Obviously you get a rose.

Zak W. gets almost naked and jumps in the pool the first night... the thing is he's not drunk.  Des should know better than to give him a rose.  We all know that stripping and jumping in on the first night is the equivalent of the drunk girls crying on the first night.

Can Someone get me a towel?

Kasey #shuttheFup #you #are #annoying!

"I like your name, Bryden, because it's white trash it stands out." - Des

Then Juan Pablo starts a soccer game, because apparently in wherever he is from he's like a famous soccer player.  He even has a whole wikipedia page.  I wish someone would have kicked the ball in her face. For comedic value.

Then we get to Jonathan.  Creepy, creepy, potentially-unregistered-sex-offender Jonathan.  I mean who doesn't get why he is confused... He offered Des a night in the fantasy, and now he's going to try and kiss her on the mouth... while he does one foot push ups. His love tank hasn't been depleted in years, so obviously night one on the Bachelorette is the way to rectify that. I mean he definitely doesn't know that no means no... good luck emptying that love tank now that this has aired on national TV.

Don't worry... his mom says he's good looking and not a date rapist

CBH on Jonathan's departure - This is how serious Sean Des is about finding his her wife husband

Rose Ceremony

Gone are the knight in shining armor (Diogo), the colorblind clown suit guy (Micah), the old Er doc that made des rip her dress (Larry), Dr. McILostMyBritishAccent the Dentist (Mike R),  the retail associate magician (Nick R.), and Jonathan.

#whydidyoukeepkasey

Till the Next Rose Ceremony -

Commish

Bachelorette Season 9, Desiree

Hello and welcome to the second season of the Fantasy Bachelor League!! This season will be our first season with the Bachelorette.  I'm so happy that you've accepted this 'digital' rose and decided to join me, Chris B. Harrison (CBH), Desiree Hartsock, and her 25 suitors for what is sure to be a roller coaster of entertaining emotions. Des and her men are here on a very serious journey to find love on television while not totally embarrassing themselves.

Des + Soulja Boy = Forevs.  I know my calculus. 

For those of you who have played before you know what time we've reached in the blogosphere... and for those of you who haven't, it's announcement time!

1. The season has already started, but there's still time to sign up... If you missed the first episode you can watch it HERE.

2. Before the airing of the second episode you must send me FIVE Bachelors who you think will get you the most points. This is your team. Remember, there is no trading, adding, or dropping, so you're in for the long haul with these guys. Also, please make sure to choose Bachelors who were NOT eliminated in the first episode. Picks are due by 7:59PM EST Monday, June 3, 2013.  Rosters will be posted by the following Monday.

3. Some of the points categories and values have changed.  You can brush up on points by clicking on Scoring of Standard Points at the top of the page.

4. Elimination Picks are also due by 7:59PM EST Monday, June 3, 2013.  You get 100 points to wager on as many guys as you'd like who you think will not be getting a rose in the rose ceremony.  If the Bachelor is kicked off or leaves under any other setting you do not earn elimination points!

Okay, I think that's it for today...

Welcome to the rose ceremony, bitches! #ihopeyourherefortherightreasons

-Commish

Bachelorette Scoring of Standard Points

Definitions
Coitus shall be defined as any explicit sexual act or pulling over covers in bed
Kissing Session shall be defined as 3 or more singular kisses, or making out. Moving locations during the session shall count for 2 sessions.
Nudity shall be defined as a minimum of a bare butt.
Extreme Intoxication shall be defined as inability to stand on one's own or walk straight, and/or slurred speech, and/or extreme breakdown crying, etc.
Written Letters shall not count as gifts.

General Notes
All firsts are additional points on top of the general points received for actions. For example the first Bachelor to kiss Des shall receive 10 pts for the kiss and 25 pts for being first. Should this first kiss happen in a helicopter or hot tub, the total points earned would be 70 points. If any firsts appear in the premier episode (prior to picking teams), they shall not count for points retroactively. Firsts shall be earned during the second episode and beyond

All phrases that appear in quotes must be stated exactly as written in quotes to earn points, but may be subject to commissioner's discretion if close enough in content.


Point Category and Points

FIRSTS
First to kiss Des: 25 pts
First to get a Helicopter Ride: 25 pts
First alone in a Hot Tub with Des: 25 pts
First to bring up Sean: 25 pts
First to bring up their own child/divorce: 25 pts

ROSE CEREMONIES
Receives a Rose during Rose Ceremony: 10 pts
Stops Rose Ceremony for a private conversation with Sean and/or Chris Harrison: 20 pts (Chris and/or Sean maybe present, you will not earn more or less points based on both being part of the conversation)
Faints and/or Injures oneself or another during a Rose Ceremony: 30 pts (plus 25 pts if another Bachelor is harmed, see physical fighting)
Tells Des off for not receiving a Rose: 30 pts

DATES
Is invited on a Group Date: 10 pts
Is invited on a One on One date: 20 pts
Receives a Rose on a One-on-One Date: 20 pts
Helicopter ride: 20 pts
Alone in a Hot Tub with Des: 20 pts
Alone in an Ocean, Lake, Pond, or body of water with Des: 20 pts
Receives a Rose on a Group Date: 30 pts
Participates in a date that involves his "worst fear": 30 pts
Gets a hometown date: 40 pts
Faints and/or Injures oneself or another during a Date: 25 pts
Stays overnight in the Fantasy Suite: 50 pts
Does not stay overnight in the Fantasy Suite: minus 50 pts
Stays overnight BEFORE the Fantasy Suite: 75 pts

FINALE POINTS AND FINISHING POSITION
Receives Final Rose (1st Place): 500 pts
Second Place: 400 pts
Third Place: 250 pts

GENERAL
Makes Des cry: 5 pts
Interrupts another Bachelor's one on one time with Des: 10 pts 
Complains about not having enough time with Des: -10 pts
Takes his shirt off and/or appears in a bathing suit: 10 pts
Says, "I didn't come here to make friends": 10 pts
Says, "for the right reason": 10 pts
Directly asks fellow cast member if he is there "for the right reasons": 10 pts
States "Everyone here hates me": 10 pts
Cries: 15 pts (add 10 pts if crying occurs on any date - group or one-on-one - or during rose ceremony)
Reveals that he is divorced: 15 pts
Gives Des a gift: 20 pts
Reveals that he has a child: 25 pts
Sings a song or recites/reads written word to Des: 25 pts
Has a disapproving family member: 30 pts

ROMANTIC/SEXUAL
Kisses on the cheek (between Des and Bachelor): 5 pts per peck or singular kiss
Bachelor and Des kiss on the lips: 10 pts per peck or singular kiss
Says "I've Fallen in Love" in side interview: 15 pts  
Unintentional nudity: 15 pts
Making out/Kissing Session (between Des and Bachelor): 20 pts per session
Says "I think I'm falling in love": 20 pts
Says "I Love You" or "I've Fallen in Love" to Des: 25 pts
Intentional nudity: 30 pts 
Participates in coitus with Des (prior to Fantasy Suite): 30 pts
Kisses a producer, production assistant, or ABC staff member: 30 pts
Reveals past career in as a stripper/has appeared in pornography: 50 pts
Kisses a fellow cast mate: 50 pts per Bachelor involved
Has had a past relationship (romantic or sexual encounter) with a Producer/Production Assistant, ABC staff member: 50 pts
Is currently in a relationship (romantic or sexual encounter) with a Producer/Production Assistant, ABC staff member: 75 pts

FIGHTING
Verbal Fighting: 5 pts per arguement
Throwing drink in someone's face: 15 pts
Throwing a household object in anger: 30 pts
Physical Fighting: 30 pts per contestant involved in fight (breaking up the fight does not count).
Being restrained or lectured on camera by security or production staff: 40 pts

ALCOHOL
Extreme intoxication: 10 - 30 pts (commissioner's discretion)
Vomiting: 10 pts

EARLY DEPARTURES
Being kicked off show for reasons outside of normal elimination: 30 pts
Leaving the show on Bachelor's own volition: 30 pts
Returning to show once already kicked off: 50 pts

BONUS POINTS
Any points earned in hot tub or body of water and/or helicopter are scored at double value. The actions or phrases must be IN said hot tub and/or helicopter at time to gain multiplier.

Bachelorette Game Rules

How to Win
Each player will choose a "team" of Bachelor contestants (heretofore referred to as "Bachelors"). Each Bachelor will earn points on a weekly basis (see How to Earn Points).  After the final rose is handed out, whichever has the most points is winner. Thus, a team could have the winning contestant on their roster, but not win the league.

Picking Your Team
Prior to the airing of the 2nd episode each player chooses five Bachelors. This constitutes your "team." Everyone is allowed to pick whichever Bachelors they choose, but these will be your contestants for the entire season. There is no trading, adding, or dropping. There will be overlap in team rosters.

How to Earn Points
There are two ways to earn points week to week:

Standard Points: Each Bachelor on your team will accumulate points by making it through each rose ceremony and accomplishing various show-related "achievements" (see the Scoring Section).

Elimination Points: Players will be given 100 points on a weekly basis to wager across any number of Bachelors on who will NOT receive a rose at the rose ceremony. For example: If you place 10 points on Bachelor X in week 2 and he does not receive a rose in week 2, 10 points will be added to your season total. If Bachelor X leaves on his own volition or is asked to leave prior to the rose ceremony you will not earn any elimination points. If he is not eliminated you will not gain any points, nor will you lose points. You may place all of your points on one contestant or spread them out across several. Points DO NOT rollover. You will not be penalized any points in the event that you do not submit any elimination picks. You are still eligible to submit elimination picks if some or all of your team has been eliminated from earning Standard Points. You may only wager whole points, no partial points will be accepted.

General Regulations
Official Blog: willdesfindlove.blogspot.com

All Team Rosters must be submitted in writing (via email, gchat, text message, or blog comment) by 7:59PM EST MONDAY, June 3, 2013. All rosters will be posted by 7:59PM EST MONDAY, June 10, 2013.

All weekly Elimination Picks are due in writing (via email, gchat, text message, or blog comment) at least 1 minute prior to airtime of any new episode. Weekly cut off times will be posted.

No points shall be earned during reunion shows (ie. Before or After the Final Rose shows)

All scoring/standings will be updated and posted on the blog within 72 hours of air time unless otherwise stated.

All events can only be scored on once per episode. Flashbacks to previous episodes or earlier events will not count for more points, however the same action happening at different times in one episode will count. For Example if Des kissed Bachelor Y on a helicopter ride and they flash to that scene during the rose ceremony, that is still only 10 points. However, if Des kisses Bachelor Y in the Helicopter, and at the cocktail party, that counts for 15 points.

The commissioner will dictate scoring. Any disputes of final scoring will be voted on by the league. A majority vote will be needed to overturn any scoring decisions.

PLEASE DO NOT READ SPOILERS OR ANYTHING OUTSIDE OF WHAT IS PROVIDED ON ABC.COM. ANYONE CAUGHT CHEATING WILL BE IMMEDIATELY DISQUALIFIED FROM ANY FURTHER SCORING OR WINNING AND WILL NOT BE ELIGIBLE FOR TO RETURN FOR FUTURE SEASONS.

Finale Standings and Recap

Ahhhhh! Of course the week after vacation is always a nutty one, but enough with the excuses, here is what you really want to know.

As emailed on Monday, Jess H. is still our winner, however in my excitement for not having to hear the word SO out of Sean's mouth anymore, I didn't realize that I hadn't calculated elimination picks properly, so here is the final official top 5:

1. Jess H
2. Jes S.
3. Lisa J.
4. Caitlin
5. Andrea

The final rankings are HERE!

Finally, I'd like to thank you all for a great inaugural season. It was one of the most dramatic and shocking inaugural seasons we've ever had. But this journey was SO amazing, and everything was SO beautiful. We went to all the most beautiful places Sean has ever seen, and we watched him with the most beautiful girls that he was just SO ready to make his wife. In the end, he picked Catherine and they're ready to get it on tie the knot. The most important thing, though, is that we've laughed, the bachelorettes cried, and Jess has more bragging rights than all of us. Sorry to the lovely boys that were throwing idle threats her way in week 1.

Now without further ado (per usual) ... your final recap!

Finale Updates!!

Alright ladies and gents... I'm back!  I passed my exam and vacation was phenomenal.  Thanks for all your understanding with the last recap.  Just know I'll be bringing the heat for my final recap like whoa!

You mean their love might be fake?!?!

So without further ado, the moment we have been waiting for all season is here!  Will Sean find love in his two final ladies??  We have Catherine and we have Lindsay...

Catherine is our resident dork, and honestly, I can't believe that she made it this far, because she was so boring.  I'm pretty sure she's still here because Sean found major deal breakers in the rest girls and just kind of forgot about Catherine and now he's all like 'whoa she's still here?!?!'

Lindsay showed up in a wedding dress and somehow not only made it past the first episode, but to the finale.  Clearly, Sean has been making excellent life choices, starting with going on Emily's season of the Bachelorette.

My prediction is that Catherine writes the letter to Sean, and Sean picks Catherine, because look at his Twitter profile of whatever is in the letter.  Then Lindsay is the new Bachelorette.  Chris B. Harrison hinted at visiting Bachelorette viewing parties while it's airing this summer at the Women Tell All Special, but he didn't say who the Bachelorette actually was, so methinks it's one of the girls still on the show.

Anyway, as always, Elimination picks are due by 8pm tomorrow, March 11th.  You get 100 points and there are 2 girls left, so this is a great way to boost your score!!!  The finale is 2 hours, followed immediately by the 'After the Final Rose' special.  Hope y'all are ready!

Week 9 Scores and No Recap :(

Alright, before we get anything about the actual Bachelor episode this week, I want to tell you all a little story.  The other night I had a dream that I was on the next season of Bachelor Pad.  Yup, you read that right.  I was on a season that hasn't actually aired, and the reason I was on it was because I had been on Sean's season of The Bachelor and didn't win.  In my dream, we were in Montana or Canada and Sean and I were talking and I told him how he really didn't get to know me on his season, and then I started telling him about my LEED exam and how to calculate drawdown rates when figuring out stormwater retention systems... Then I woke up.  FYI - I keep getting the drawdown rate calculation wrong when I'm awake... I reaaaalllly need to change some things up in my life.

So as you can see things are little nuts for me right now.  My apologies for just getting this up late and the lack of a recap this week.  Obviously I'm too busy reading about sustainable building and dreaming about Sean. I really, really, really, really wish I had time to recap this week because there was A LOT of golden material (see: AshLee's video, AshLee's exit, Catherine being super weird and nerdy, Lindsay and Sean playing with fluorescent chickens... I mean really ABC??)

First, let's get to the scores... updated spreadsheet lives HERE per usual.

And here is the new Top 5:

1. Jess H.
2. Andrea
3. Lisa J.
4. Aimee
5. Caitlin

Jess H is still reigning champ, but with the first and second place scoring (400 and 500 points) to come, a lot can still change. Like I said last week, only 7 people have Catherine, so things should get interesting.

Things to Remember:
- you get 100 POINTS TO WAGER IN ELIMNATIONS!
- the finale is March 11th
- Next week is the Women Tell All special

I will not be recapping the Women Tell All either, because I will be on beach in Jamaica drowning failed sorrows or celebrating the passing of my LEED Exam in copious amounts of booze and, hopefully, sun. However, I will most definitely be watching upon my return, because I cannot wait to see what AshLee has to say.

Anyway, since I'm not doing a recap on the best week ever, here are links to two hilarious recaps for you to read in my absence.

Betches

The Bachelor, as reviewed by a guy

Till the final Rose Ceremony

- Commish

Episode 9 Elimination Picks

Alright, gentleladies and men...

The good news is that tonight are the Fantasy Suite Dates!!!!

The bad news is this week is a bit cray cray for your girl, Commish, soooo I am honestly not sure when I'll get the recap up.  I'll have scores up first things tomorrow, but I have a work trip later this week, a professional exam, and then I'll be on vacation next week (rough life).

Anywayyyyy, ELIMINATION PICKS ARE DUE BY 8PM!  There are 3 girls left:

AshLee
Catherine
Lindsay

And you get a 100 points.  The odds sound pretty good to me.

Now send in ya picks!

-Commish

Episode 8 Recap and Scores

Guys and Gals, I almost made it posting this Tuesday, but I didn't have all the pics done, soooo yeah. FYI, I will not be recapping last night's "Sean Tells All!" special, as it was borrrring... even when the closing credits were just him in the shower. Seriously, ABC? The quotes about Tierra, however, were phenoms, though, so I might have to share my thoughts on that. We'll see..

Whatevs, let's get to what you're really here for... Scores are updated and the spreadsheet lives HERE.

And here is the new Top 5:

1. Jess H.
2. Aimee
3. Lisa J.
4. Andrea
5. Jes S.

We have a new number 1, Jess H! Remember, starting next week the girls will start earning their position points which are 250, 400, and 500 points, so if you have Catherine, Lindsay, or AshLee on your team, there's a chance for your team to make a comeback. Only 7 people have Catherine and 10 have Lindsay, so things should get interesting.

Speaking of things getting interesting... remember you get 100 POINTS TO WAGER IN WEEKLY ELIMNATIONS for the rest of the season! With 3 girls lefts your odds are pretty good. Elimination points and submissions will be used as tie breakers!

This week, a favorite and front runner from the start, Desiree, was eliminated at quite a dramatic rose ceremony, so those of you who chose Des in your elimnation picks earned your points.  No one else went home, so that's all I have to say about that...

Now, ON TO THE RECAP!

Episode 7 Scores and Recap

Alright, kiddos, my apologies for the late post this week, but I am studying for a professional exam so it's been busy... I meannnn, jk, I was totes waiting for Valentine's Day to post about Sean and his lovers. Duhh!

Updated spreadsheet with all the scores is HERE

And here is the new Top 5:

1. Lisa J.
2. Andrea
3. Aimee
4. Jess M.
5. Lisa S.

Lisa J. has knocked out our reigning number 1 leader, Jess M! We are down to 4 girls now and next week are hometowns. All the girls will get 20 points to start for getting the hometown dates. After next week the top 3 girls will start earning their position points which will really catapult the scores, so even if you think you're out now, that might not be the case if you have girls left on your team.

This week Tierra and Lesley were eliminated. If Tierra was on your team you got 25 pts for her being kicked off for reasons outside of normal elimination, but you do not earn points because she wasn't eliminated via the rose ceremony. If you chose Lesley to go home you earned your elimination points.

FROM HERE ON OUT YOU WILL BE GIVEN 100 POINTS TO WAGER IN ELIMNATIONS! Because some people's entire teams have been eliminated, this will keep it interesting.

And now...

On to the Recap!

Episode 7 Eliminations Picks

As you can see from the Tweet above tomorrow night is going to DRAAAAAAMA. Hope y'all are ready!  (Yes, even I'm saying it now, ugh)

Elimination Picks are due by 8pm sharp!  We are back down to 50 pts to wager this week as there is only 2 hours of the Bachelor, thank G.  Here's a list of the girls are left:

AshLee
Catherine
Desiree
Lesley
Lindsay
Tierra

The pool is getting small, so the chances to pump up your score is high!

Episode 6 Recap

Epsiode 5 is recapped in the previous post, and scores from 5&6 are HERE.  Now on to Episode 6!

Episode 5 Recap

Scores are posted in the last blog post, now on to the recap of episode 5!

Episode 5&6 Scoring

Because there were approximately 17 hours of Sean and Chris Harrison talking about the most dramatic moment ever in the history of forever ever on The Bachelor, and Sean spent another 12 hours debating whether his wife was on the blue team or red team or not even in the room (oh-em-gee!!), I am going to do the blog post differently this week. This post will be a scoring update only, and the recaps will be posted tonight.

HERE is the updated spreadsheet.

And here is the new Top 5:

1. Jess M.
2. Jes S.
3. Lisa J.
4. Andrea
5. Aimee

Technically, Jes S. and Lisa J. are tied, but Jes has more earned elimination points. As previously stated, earned points are the tie breaker.

Sean sent home FIVE girls this week, which was, like, the HARDEST decision he's ever had to make in, like, the last week ever. Obvi. I mean he was totes heartbroken sending Sarah home. But we all saw that coming, even Sarah, because at the end of the day, she's missing part of her arm. I actually felt bad for her and wanted be like, Sean, you're a douche. But any dude who is on The Bachelor is obviously a douche so I guess Sarah should have known. But props to her for going on TV to prove a point about your arm and dating.

If Sarah was on your team you got 25 pts for her being kicked off for reasons outside of normal elimination. If you chose Daniella, Jackie, Robyn, or Selma to go home you earned your elimination points. Basically everyone who submitted elimination points this week, earned points. For those of you who didn't you missed out on pumping up your score by a possible 100 points.

Alright, so that's the scoring update. Episode 5&6 recaps will be posted by tonight.

Episode 5 and 6 Elimination Picks

Ok guys, ABC has decided that I really have nothing better to do with my life and is showing TWO EPISODES this week. Contrary to the usual, I do in fact have a lot going on this week. Monday night is the beanpot and I will be in attendance so I will be behind in catching up on 3 hours of The Bachelor. I know, I know most of you are probs all like what a the f is the beanpot and how is it more important than The Bachelor? Basically is a college hockey tournament that breaks my heart every year because I am an NU alumna.

Anyway, enough about that. There are 2 things you need to take from this:

1. The recap and scoring won't be up till Thursday.

2. Because there are two episodes and I am not sure how many girls will be going home or when, EVERYONE IS GETTING 100 POINTS FOR ELIMINATIONS PICKS!

I know this is super annoying to those of you have already submitted picks, but it could be really helpful to those of you who have already lost 2 or 3 girls.

The catch for getting 100 points for eliminations is that ALL OF YOUR PICKS FOR BOTH EPISODES MUST BE SUBMITTED PRIOR TO THE AIRING OF THE FIRST EPISODE 8pm MONDAY.

If you have any questions, concerns, or fears please just let me know.

Episode 4 Recap and Scoring

As always... Let's start with the scoring breakdown, which is is posted HERE. You'll notice a few points that were given at the commissioner’s discretion this week. This episode was so quintessential Bachelor so I was just feeling generous.

Anyway, here is the new Top 5:

1. Jess M.
2. Andrea
3. Lisa S.
4. Dave
5. Lisa J.

Technically, Lisa J. and Dave are tied, but Dave has more earned elimination points which is the tie breaker.

Leslie and Amanda did not get roses, so elimination points were earned if you picked them. Nobody left by their own will, or was asked to leave, so it was pretty straight forward this week.

Next week is a bit cray cray… There are going to be TWO EPISODES in one week (Monday and Tuesday - WTF ABC). So I will post an update on how that’s going to work later in the week.

On to the Recap!

Ep. 4 Elimination Picks Clarification

To clarify, if a Bachelorette does not receive a rose on a one-on-one date that is considered normal elimination and elimination points can be earned. If Sean or Chris or an ABC staff members asks a Bachelorette to leave the show when a rose is not up for grabs, or she leaves on her own, then elimination points cannot be earned.

Episode 4 Elimination Picks

Good Evening Ladies and Gents!

It's your fav Commish here on this Bachelor Ep 4 Eve with your reminder about Elimination Picks!!!

Last week we had 18 people submit picks and 14 people earned points. There are still ties for 5th, 10th, and 17th places. Remember, elimination picks will be used as tie breakers come the end of the season.

For those of you who may not be paying as close attention as your commish (aka you have a life) here is a list of the Bachelorettes who have NOT been eliminated:

Amanda
AshLee
Catherine
Daniella
Desiree
Jackie
Lesley
Leslie
Lindsay
Robyn
Sarah
Selma
Tierra

Please, please, please remember to submit your picks PRIOR TO AIR TIME 8pm.  I know that not all of you watch the show live (or even at all), but I cannot accept eliminations picks after the episode starts.  I will send another reminder tomorrow for you last minute submittees.

-Commish

Episode 3 Recap and Scoring

My apologies for the delayed post!! So without further ado the updated scoring breakdown is posted HERE.

There's a  bit of change up in the Top 5 - Dave drops to a 3 way tie for 5th, and Jess M retains her first place position.  Looks like all that trash talk didn't quite pan out, did it Dave?

Top 5
1. Jess M.
2. Matt
3. Jess H.
4. Lisa J.
5. Brian, Lisa S., & Dave

In the eliminations category Taryn and Kristy did not get roses, so points were earned if you picked them. Kacie B was asked to leave before the rose ceremony, so Kacie B owners earned points for her early exit, but no eliminations points, but no one picked her to go home anyway.

Insert an annoying reminder reminder about elimination picks here.

My guess is next week we'll see some even bigger changes in the leaderboard, Mo.  The previews showed one on one dates for Leslie H (WTF Sean?) and Selma, and Tierra is slated to have a Level 5 meltdown.  A lot of you lost Kacie B this week, too.  Some lost 2 girls with Kristy leaving, as well.

On to the Recap!

Episode 3 Elimination Picks and Reminders

We are 2 days away from the next episode, so I wanted to remind you all about ELIMINATION PICKS. Last week we had 16 people submit picks, and 8 of you earned extra points. Right now, we have a tie for 4th, 10th, 11th (3-way), 12th (4-way), and last place. These picks are a great way to pad your score and help with tie breakers, which brings me to my next point.

In the event that the season ends in a tie, I will be using the number of times you submitted elimination picks as a first tie breaker, and the earned elimination points as a second tie breaker. 

Team Hayley and Team Paige have the same exact roster, so it would be to your advantage to submit picks at least a few times over the season.

As a reminder this is how Elimination Points work:

• Elimination Points: Players will be given 50 points on a weekly basis to wager across any number of Bachelorettes on who will NOT receive a rose at the rose ceremony. For example: If you place 10 points on Bachelorette X in week 2 and she does not receive a rose in week 2, 10 points will be added to your season total. If Bachelorette X leaves on her own volition or is asked to leave prior to the rose ceremony you will not earn any elimination points. If she is not eliminated you will not gain any points, nor will you lose points. You may place all of your points on one contestant or spread them out across several. Points DO NOT rollover. You will not be penalized any points in the event that you do not submit any elimination picks. You are still eligible to submit elimination picks if some or all of your team has been eliminated from earning Standard Points. You may only wager whole points, no partial points will be accepted.

Picks are due MONDAY BY 7:59 PM EST IN WRITING.

Lastly, there is a scoring update. Apparently my excel spreadsheet sorted incorrectly, so if you actually looked closely at score sheet posted on the blog, you'd have noticed that Team Jess M is actually in 2nd Place and Team Dave is in 3rd Place. Team Lisa J and Team Jes S are tied for 4th and Team Julia is in 5th.

- Commish

Episode 2 Recap and Scoring

Before we get to the Recap, the scoring breakdown is posted HERE. Congrats to everyone who picked Sarah and Desiree to be on their team, because you are currently the Top 5:

1. Sarah
2. Dave
3. Jess M.
4. Jes S.
5. Lisa J.

For those of you who picked Brooke or Diana to go home, you've only padded your scores; however, those who picked Katie did not earn points because she left on her own.

To Everyone: Don't forget about the eliminations picks! As girls get kicked off or leave the show, it can really help with your score.

On to the Recap! 

Team Dan

Total Cumulative Points: 765
Earned Elimination Points: 0
Current Rank: 27th

AshLee

Brooke















Daniella 















Leslie

Taryn

Photo Credit: abc.com

Team Victoria

Total Cumulative Points: 1570
Earned Elimination Points: 200
Current Rank: 13th


Catherine

Desiree

Kacie B

Selma

















Tierra
















Photo Credit: abc.com