March 25, 2014

Things We've Learned in the Last Two Weeks

Well, we learned that I'm still bad at updating this thing so let's get right to it...

First and Foremost, we (well I, and now you) have learned that this season's champion is Susan!!! Congratulations, Susan!!!

Close behind her we had Katie and Cindy in second. They actually almost tied down to the elimination points, but the second tie breaker was how many times they submitted points, so Katie eked out take 2nd place. Rounding out the top five were Lisa J. in 4th and Laura in 5th. You can see the full scoring breakdown HERE.

Second, we learned that this is my last season commissioning this Fantasy Bachelor League. It's just a little too much work with my personal and professional life. If circumstances change I'll be the first to let you know if I decide to pull a Brett Favre and come out of retirement. But for now, you'll just have to follow along on twitter if you want any comical Bachelor insight.



Third, in the Bachelor Finale we learned that Clare is actually kind of cool... Her telling off JuPa was amazing! Or at least I thought she redeemed herself a bit. And Neekee just kind of came off pathetic pathetic. But she won, so those with NEEKEE on their teams really benefited from her final points.

Fourth, After the Final Rose was just the most bizzare TV I've seen. Juan Pablo and Nikki are straight up weird. I get that they want privacy, but why go on TV? What we've really learned from this is that despite deeply wishing for privacy concerning the status of their relationship, they're actually just like every other Bachelor contestant and they really just want attention... which can be seen in the following:

This bizarre video JuPa made for Nikki in the days after the final rose...




His tweets...


Her tweets...


Their instagrams...








And so on and so forth. I really just wish that Chris Harrison had ripped JuPa and Nikki a new one. Because the first rule of The Bachelor is that nobody puts Chris Harrison in a corner! Which I think I read in a tweet somewhere... But JuPa should know he can't take down The Bachelor/ette Empire in one season... duh!


But what's oddest of all is that Andi, the first to tell JuPa off for being a douchey mcdouchester, is besties with NEEKEE. Like maybe offer some friendly advice...?? or you're really just frenemies. I dunno it just didn't seem like Andi was telling him off for the cameras. And we all know it's the worst when your bestie is dating someone who sucks... especially if they're you're ex. But hey, I've never been on The Bachelor so who am I to talk?


Anyway... ENOUGH of THAT. IT makes my EYES bleed.

Other things we've learned is that there will be a follow up series called 'Bachelor in Paradise'... sounds less entertaining than Bachelor Pad, but I'll take it. Methinks Rachel from Ben's season getting f'ed over for $250,000 by Michael from Jillian's season in the last installment was too much for the production team to handle. I just hope something more amazing than that happens 'in Paradise.'

And lastly we learned, not very surprisingly, that Andi is the new Bachelorette and filming already started. We also learned that Boyz II Men is going to be on her season, which basically means my first season of retirement will be the greatest season ever.



Anyway, I want to thank you all for your participation and understanding this season and season's passed.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the final rose.

-Commish.

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